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Monday, December 24, 2007

Update on Jessica!

After church yesterday afternoon me, my mom, Holly and her friend Anastasia drove to Egleston to see Jessica. We were told that we can not cry and only to make her smile. Well, for those of you who know how me and my mama are you know that we made Jessica laugh out loud. :o) We had fun, but we didn't forget how serious this situation is.

Her super hot nurse *McSteamy is what I named him* said that she is looking better and has her color back. However, she still doesn't have an appetite so they're having to feed her intravenously. She's also not urinating enough at all so that's causing more problems.

Even though all of this is going on Jessica is in good spirits. Pastor Ritchie preached a great sermon yesterday *Avalon Church in McDonough*. At one point he mentioned how some individuals have serious health defects that alter how they live. Ex: brain damage. *Read Yay or Boo on ritchies blog to know what I'm talking about* Anyways, he was saying how these people have such an impact on others and how their spirit about life really touches those around them. That's how it is with Jessica. I've always, ALWAYS, admired her spirit about life. She and I were talking yesterday and I walked away from that conversation feeling that my spirit had been touched by an angel.

I wonder sometimes if Jessica is an angel sent down from above. She's always teaching those around her about how precious life is, although she may not even know it she's doing it. She doesn't take life for granted and wants to live it as normal as she can. How she loves her boyfriend is admirable. We could all take a lesson from that. She doesn't look at any of his faults, she never has a bad thing to say about him. We can all say something negative about our spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends. But she just accepts it and loves it!

I was told I couldn't cry yesterday. For those of you who know ME, you know that I cry about everything. I don't know why .... I just do. I'm just an emotional person I guess. I was doing really good until my mom left the room and it was just me and Jessica. I lost it. I was overwhelmed by all of the cords hooked up to her and all of the machines that monitor her every second. We were told what to expect, but you're never really prepared until you see her. I apologized to her for crying. I told her how I was instructed not to cry but I can't help it. She understood because she knows me. I just wanted to hug her and never let go. I wanted to take the pain from her so she could live a normal life. I know everything happens for a reason but this is just terrible.

The anger is beginning to set in with me and even though I trust in the Lord, I'm just so pissed. There are rapist, murderers, and other bad people in this world with great health and then there's Jessica who only knows how to love, and yet she's dealt this hand. I know we're not to question His actions and why he does things, and I know we are to only have faith. But after yesterday and seeing all of the children on that Cardiac ICU floor I just feel so BLESSED that JD doesn't have a problem like that. Right now, we're dealing with 2 ear infections and the hand, foot, mouth disease and I'm complaining of not having any sleep. There was a baby who is 3 days old in there who was born without a back to her heart! OMG! How dare me complain. How dare me complain about having 4 places to go to for Christmas when poor Jessica won't be going anywhere. And these poor babies are at the hospital and can't experience the fun of Santa Claus. And the parents of these babies aren't able to show off their babies to the family. You know how you did when your child was born, all bundled up in a blanket and everyone holding that sweet love bug. These poor babies don't know what it's like to be held and loved on. They don't experience the achy muscles because EVERYONE in the family wants to just hold them. Nope, they're laying underneath HEATERS to keep them warm.

Mama told me that they talked to Jessica and Sharon *her mom, my mom's twin* about a living will. Meaning, if something happens does she want to live on machines. :o( They told her now is not a good time to give that answer, it was just too upsetting.

I guess my family hasn't given it a thought that Jessica may pass. I guess we've always put our faith in the Lord about all that. Mama said the doctor's told Sharon that Jessica wasn't expected to make it thought the night last Saturday and look at her now.

I guess we're not praying for her to live, but for her to recover and make it though this.

I'm sorry to be so negative ... I look at it as being truthful. Just think about these things as your spending time with your family over the past few days. Enjoy your family, not your expensive gifts you give and receive.

Love your life.

Please keep Jessica in your prayers, along with the other people whose families are away this holiday season, and the children who are in the hospital and can't experience the excitement of Christmas morning. Thank you.

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